


Bow Your Head In The House Of God

by Charlynch



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: F/F, The Strap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-24 07:27:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20354644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlynch/pseuds/Charlynch
Summary: [In which Sasha gets the strap.]Never, in all her life, had Sasha been dispassionate. She was a rainstorm rattled tight into the skin of a girl, bursting with constant motion, with violent winds, a tempest of a woman, her thoughts a squall, a maelstrom, a hurricane. And Bayley, rooted as deep into the earth as an old tree, staid and permanent, was the only person who had never said she was "too much". She took her as she was, an armful of noise, a tastelessly extravagant bouquet of mawkish, too-high contrast feelings. She weathered her storms, and held her afterward. And no matter what, she was never afraid of the sound of thunder.A long weekend away for some bestie bonding winds up turning into a deeper experience as Sasha opens up to Bayley about her sexuality. Both women have been nursing unspoken feelings for each other their entire friendship; will time alone, with only the wilderness and sky bring old secrets to the surface?





	Bow Your Head In The House Of God

**Author's Note:**

> Rated for eventual spicy Baysha sex. Bear with me, I promise it'll happen.
> 
> Hail Timea, my Baysha enabler, and also my Bayshamella crying partner.

Smothering; that was how people described her. Intense, if they were trying to be polite. She was a wildfire, always ready to blaze out of control, to swallow people whole with all of herself, all of the “too much”, all of the “too clingy”, “too obsessive”, “too demanding”. She was so, so tiny, curled up in the car seat next to Bayley, and yet Bayley had no doubt Sasha could set the whole world alight.  
“She's just wired up differently,” Bayley had protested, when her boyfriend had remarked on Sasha's “crazy vibes”. Sasha had come round briefly to figure out the logistics of her and Bayley's trip away for the weekend; as far as Bayley had seen, Sasha had just been excited. Her boyfriend, however, used words like “manic”, words that tasted sterile and strange in Bayley's mouth.  
“I don't want you to go with her,” he insisted. “She's emotionally manipulative, she'll just guilt trip you into being with her constantly, and everything will go right back to you spending all your time with her instead of me.”  
“Didn't think you'd be the jealous type,” Bayley said coolly.  
“I'm not jealous, I just think she's toxic and you're around her too often to take a step back and see it,” he had replied curtly, before leaving Bayley standing alone in the kitchen, arms crossed peevishly across her chest.  
Bayley blew out a soft sigh, glancing away from Sasha's sleeping form and returning her attention to the road, her brows creeping downward at the memory of the argument. It took a special type of person to understand Sasha's ups and downs, sure, but that didn't make her _toxic_.   
“Hey,” Sasha croaked, rubbing her eyes with the sleeve of the hoodie she'd pilfered from Bayley's bag to use as a blanket. It was several sizes too big for her, drowning her small frame and making her seem even smaller, more frail somehow, than she had before.  
“Hey boo,” Bayely replied softly, flashing Sasha a quick smile as she navigated the traffic. “How you feeling?”  
“Okay,” Sasha mumbled. “I don't know. I want to cry.”  
“Don't worry about him,” Bayley said, deftly overtaking a mail truck crawling along the highway at a snail's pace. “I told him, if he can't treat you with respect, I don't want to know him. He said he'd be gone for me coming back, so I guess the trash is gonna take itself out.”  
Sasha sniffed and smiled wanly at Bayley's quip, turning away to rest her cheek on the window. Sasha wasn't sure quite how she'd managed it – everything seemed to fall to pieces so quickly – but she'd had an awful argument with Bayley's boyfriend before they'd left. A very loud argument. In the middle of Bayley's very public driveway.  
“What did he even say to set you off anyway?” Bayley asked, resting her wrists on the steering wheel. “I missed the start; I came outside with my bags to him screaming in your face. Dickhead.”  
Sasha glanced at Bayley appreciatively; she always had her back. Every time her relationships with the people around her started to fall apart, everybody seemed to bail. Everybody “didn't want to get involved”, or “didn't want to take sides” and left her to fend for herself, even when it was clear she was in the right. Not Bayley, though. Bayley always had her back.  
“He said I take advantage of you,” Sasha replied, straightening her posture in the seat. “He said you're too nice to me, and that I take too much from our friendship and don't give anything back.”  
“What the hell would he know about it? Ignore it, Sash. And I know it's not as easy to do that as it is for me to say, but...” Bayley paused, frowning. “I know this is gonna be on your mind, and I know it's gonna keep hurting, and you're gonna keep worrying about it. But I promise; you're the best thing that ever happened to me. Some jealous asshole who can't deal with me having a best friend isn't gonna change that.”  
“Thanks, B,” Sasha said softly, chewing the sleeve of the hoodie. “Hey, I'm kinda hungry... Want me to crack open the car snacks?”  
“We could do that,” Bayley nodded. “Or, we could stop at the McDonalds up ahead. I can't stand you being so small and sad; you need a Happy Meal. Honestly, anything that keeps you from eating all the clothes I brought with me is probably a good idea.”  
Sasha guiltily withdrew her cuff from her mouth, wiping her sleeve on her leggings.  
“Let's get Happy Meals and talk about something other than him for once,” Sasha said sourly. Bayley looked at her, an expression of hurt flickering across her features before she composed herself and returned to expressionlessness.  
“You know you're always my number one, right?” Bayley prodded.  
“And you're my number one,” Sasha replied, smiling in spite of herself.  
“Exactly. So lets not focus on being sad. We're gonna enjoy our weekend. I'm getting all this time with my number one girl to myself, we're gonna eat trash, watch stupid movies, and do terrible holiday activities,” Bayley grinned. “I barely get to see you any more; lets not waste our time together moping.”  
Sasha nodded, though a small, niggling thought in the back of her mind questioned Bayley's remarks; “waste our time together moping”? Was Sasha just a buzzkill for Bayley? She tried to think back through their last few conversations; was her misery a constant topic?  
Did Bayley think she was a waste of time? She tried to push down the self doubt, the quiet anxiety that perhaps she was just an inconvenience. Bayley's words echoed in her head; “you're always my number one”. She clung to that with everything she had, turning her back on the creeping paranoia firmly.  
“My head is full of fuck,” Sasha said flatly. “Distract me with something stupid.”  
“Are chicken nuggets a good enough distraction?” Bayley asked as they pulled into the McDonalds drive-through.  
“You know what? They just might be.”

“Ugh, it's just the best up here,” Sasha chirped, as she climbed out of the car, relishing the stiff mountain breeze. “Even the air tastes cleaner.”  
“Any air has got to be better than four hour car journey air with a hint of cheeseburger,” Bayley replied, raising her eyebrows at Sasha's sudden change in demeanour. “God I love junk food, but come Tuesday when we're driving home, the car's gonna smell like our lunch from our way here.”  
“Don't be so uptight, we'll drive with the windows open,” Sasha rolled her eyes, tripping across the gravel driveway to stand at the edge of the hillside, looking out over the interminable green wilderness with an almost childish awe. Bayley paused, leaning on the hood of the car to watch as Sasha stretched expansively as though trying to embrace the skyline. As she raised her arms, the hem of her top lifted to expose a glimpse of skin, a thin golden line between her waistband and shirt that held impossible power; Bayley felt her mouth go dry, and she hurriedly looked away, guilt sitting heavily on her shoulders.  
_I brought her here to chill out, to relax, not to make moves on her. She's vulnerable. I can't look at her like that, _Bayley chastised herself. This was how it had always been; she wiped away Sasha's tears, she held her, she pined for her. All the years they'd been friends, Bayley had found herself torn between a desire for something romantic to blossom between them, or for her feelings to wither and make her life a lot easier. Being in love with your hurricane of a best friend? Generally not a story with a happy ending. Sasha ate love like a forest fire, burning through people, burning people out. And yet, Bayley hadn't ever burnt out on her, and she didn't think she ever would.   
Sasha gambolled around the car like a lamb, drawing Bayley out of her reverie. She fished the keys for the cabin out of her bag as Sasha excitedly pointed out the newly blooming flowers in the garden.  
“No cell reception up here,” Bayley told her as they made their way inside. “You're gonna have to save all your Insta shots for when we get back.”  
“I don't mind!” Sasha beamed. “No cell reception, no problem; I get you all to myself. No stupid boyfriends constantly asking what you're doing every eleven seconds either.”  
“No, I think you mean I get _you_ all to _my_self,” Bayley teased, ruffling Sasha’s hair on the way past as Sasha swatted at her. “Feels like forever since we could just… hang out. Without worrying about stuff.”  
“I’ve missed that,” Sasha admitted. “Being… just us. I’ve missed you.”  
“I’ve missed you too, babe,” Bayley smiled, dropping heavily onto the bed as Sasha began to root around in her bag for her phone charger. “It’s gonna be dark out soon. Wanna come fix some snacks and we can watch a spooky movie with all the lights out?”  
“You know it,” Sasha replied, kicking her bag under the bed and plugging her phone in. She bounced onto the bed, her impact barely jostling Bayley as she flopped backward onto the duvet.  
“I could straight up just go to sleep,” Bayley yawned, closing her eyes. “Don't let me though, if I sleep now I'll wind up waking up at like six AM and you'll lie in bed until midday and I'll be bored all morning.”  
“I’ll make some coffee, and see what we got in the cupboards in the way of treats. Becky and Charlotte gotta keep this place stocked with microwave popcorn at least, right?” Sasha asked, punching Bayley in the arm in mock offence at the suggestion she'd sleep until noon. Admittedly, she probably would sleep until noon, but she wasn't about to let Bayley make fun of her for it.   
“I dunno, you’ve seen some of the, uh, ‘food’ Charlotte posts on Instagram,” Bayley answered doubtfully. “You can trust Becky to have snacks, but whether or not they’re still in date is a whole ‘nother matter.”  
Five minutes later, they were downstairs exploring the kitchen; Bayley had boosted Sasha up onto the kitchen counter so she could investigate the cupboards. As suspected, Becky had hidden an impressive cache of junk food, including Kimberley biscuits and Emerald Toffees.  
“Guess it helps when she’s feeling homesick,” Sasha said, brandishing the packet of cookies at Bayley.  
“It would if they hadn’t gone off in,” Bayley paused to check the package. “2015.”  
“Oh gross!” Sasha yelped, dropping the packet as though she’d been burned whilst Bayley laughed uproariously at her revulsion.   
“Becky’s stash might be a lost cause, but you know what we can depend on?” Bayley said with a promising expression. “Charlotte’s ice cream obsession.”  
Sure enough, the freezer was well stocked, and everything was very much within best before date; Sasha was taking no chances. Grabbing a pint of Ben and Jerry’s Chubby Hubby and two spoons, Sasha bounced through to the living room, happier than Bayley had seen her in weeks.  
“You’re the fucking cutest, you know that, right?” Bayley asked as Sasha wrestled with the peel-back lid on top of the ice cream.   
“You might have mentioned it once before,” Sasha said wryly, dropping down onto the couch triumphantly, ice cream in hand. “We gonna watch something spooky scary?”  
“You bet we are.”

Four horror movies in, Sasha was well and truly freaked out; she scrambled to her feet every time the wind murmured gently outside, leaping behind Bayley at every jump scare. Drag Me To Hell had her curled up against Bayley’s chest with her fingers in her ears, taking cautious peeks at the screen every so often to check it was safe to re-emerge.  
“Babe, it’s not even that scary,” Bayley said gently, extricating herself from Sasha’s grasp to go grab more popcorn. Sasha whined plaintively in response, following Bayley through to the kitchen, her eyes fixed on the windows. Her hair was a cloud of disarray, mussed by her repeated efforts to hide behind Bayley on the sofa. It made her look cartoonish, all hackles up and wide eyes.   
“Okay, that was shitty,” Bayley conceded. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t scary for me, but I can see why it might be scary for you. But we’re okay; we’re safe up here! The doors and windows are locked tight, and we’re the only ones in the house.”  
“People always get murdered in remote cabins,” Sasha replied, her voice far higher than usual as she shied away from the kitchen window, the rustle of tree branches outside sending her scampering across the kitchen behind Bayley once again.  
“Think about it, Becky and Charlotte haven’t been murdered,” Bayley said logically, putting more popcorn in the microwave as though Sasha was not clinging to her elbow like a big purple limpet. “And Charlotte is peak horror movie blonde damsel in distress. She’d definitely have been murdered by now.”  
“It would have been shower scene if she had,” Sasha replied reflectively, as Bayley cast her a quizzical glance. She wriggled onto the kitchen counter, swinging her legs as she gestured generously at her chest. “You know… because of the, uh… tits.”  
“Oh shit, that’s a good point,” Bayley nodded, before casting a smug, knowing look at Sasha. “Why, you been paying a lot of attention to Charlotte’s boobs lately?”  
Sasha spluttered, falling off the countertop.  
“Well they’re hard to miss!” she cried defensively, rubbing her hip where she’d clipped it against the counter. They both fell silent for a moment, gazing into the middle distance.  
“They’ve got to be bigger than Becky’s head-” Sasha whispered, before Bayley cut her off.  
“Have you ever, uh…” Bayley laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of her neck. “You know. Thought about Charlotte. In that way.”  
“What, like… in a sexy way?” Sasha asked, a smirk forming on her lips. “Why do you ask, guilty conscience?”  
Bayley raised her hands.  
“I asked first,” she shrugged.  
“I asked second.”  
“Eh. I guess. She’s beautiful. And from what Becky says? Dynamite in bed,” Bayley mused, blushing delicately at the line of questioning. Sasha wasn’t sure where it came from, but a white hot spark of jealousy flourished in her chest.   
“Didn’t know you were still into girls,” Sasha pouted.  
“Don’t be stupid, just because I dated one guy doesn’t suddenly mean I’m not into girls anymore. Besides, I'm not even sure where I am on the Kinsey scale right now,” Bayley replied, shrugging defensively. The microwave beeped, and Bayley pulled out the popcorn, though she quickly dropped the bag with a yelp.   
“Burned your fingers?” Sasha asked, taking Bayley’s hand extremely carefully to inspect the damage. She tried not to think too much about Bayley’s fingers in her mouth. Instead, her brain decided to think about Bayley’s fingers in Charlotte’s mouth, and she dropped Bayley’s hand with a huffy frown. Bayley moved to run cold water from the faucet over the burn as Sasha gingerly dealt with the popcorn, huffing all the while. Her exasperated sighs gradually increased in volume as Bayley continued to rinse her injury obliviously.  
After a long moment, Bayley turned to look at Sasha incredulously, as though a sudden realisation had struck her.  
“Sasha… are you jealous because I said Charlotte was cute?” Bayley asked doubtfully. Sasha tutted in response. “Is that a yes…?”  
“I don’t know! Leave me alone!” Sasha answered angrily, blushing deeply. Her hands were shaking.  
“Sasha,” Bayley began, her tones pained, closing the distance between them and taking Sasha’s hands. Panicked, Sasha pushed her away and bolted for the stairs; Bayley could hear her running upstairs and slamming the door to her room.   
“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Bayley groaned, leaning back against the countertop with her head in her hands. She'd pushed too hard; Sasha was already a little fragile.   
“You know better than that,” Bayley muttered to herself, casting her gaze up to the ceiling as though hoping to send a telepathic apology to Sasha upstairs.  
Still. Bayley couldn't deny that she was curious. Sasha had never been one for chasing boys, or even making passing comments on whether guys were cute or whatever. She'd never, as far as Bayley knew, been one for chasing anybody. Sasha didn't follow anybody; people followed _her. _And Bayley knew she'd follow Sasha wherever she led her; it was just how it had always been. Loving somebody so much that it hurt had been terrifying, at first. By now, Bayley was used to it. It was just the way their friendship was. Sasha overflowed with emotions that were too much to fit in her dizzy head or bruised body, too much for her to translate into words or actions beyond tears and self-destruction. Bayley picked up the pieces, and loved, and pined, and wished; Sasha, she knew, could love more than anybody else in the world. Nobody was such a violent poetry of wild, reckless emotion. Who could expect her to love in an acceptable capacity? Bayley wanted to drown in her.   
And yet; Sasha, the person closest to her heart, her true other half, the keeper of almost every secret she'd ever had, seemed so impossibly far away that it made her ache. Every passed glimpse, every embrace, every “night babe, love you”, just too close to what she wanted, but at the same time too far, something between friends and lovers that neither of them knew how to navigate. As for how Sasha felt? Well, that was a mystery. 

After spending an hour sitting alone in the lounge, waiting to see if Sasha would come back downstairs, Bayley blew out a weary sigh; she'd fucked up, she knew it, and Sasha knew she knew it. If she wanted to fix this, she'd have to do it herself, and Bayley couldn't think what else to do but to go upstairs and try talking to Sasha. She knocked gently on the door, the warm thud seeming alarmingly loud in the dusty quiet of the cabin. After a long pause, she knocked again, and heard the sound of what was unmistakably Sasha throwing her pillow at the door with a petulant sound of irritation. Bayley leaned back against the wall, closing her eyes; she knew it was pushing it to bring up sexuality, to try and make Sasha admit what everybody else had known for years but never said out loud. Sensing that entering the room probably wasn't the best idea, Bayley slowly slid down to the wall to sit cross legged on the hallway floor.   
“You still mad?” Bayley called out hopefully. She hadn't a chance; Sasha could keep the silent treatment up for months if she was angry enough. Sasha was definitely still gonna be mad.  
“If you’re a murderer, hurry up and murder me,” Sasha replied, her voice muffled. “If you’re Bayley, leave me alone.”  
“Sorry to disappoint,” Bayley replied, unable to keep the smile out of her voice. There was a prolonged quiet, then the gentle shuffle of Sasha moving across the room. Bayley heard a soft thud as Sasha sat down on the other side of the wall. “I'm sorry I upset you, babe.”  
“I’m sorry I freaked out,” Sasha mumbled in a small voice.   
“It’s okay,” Bayley answered gently, relaxing against the wall as she realised Sasha was willing to forgive her blunder. “I was pushing it.”  
“It’s okay,” Sasha said, knocking on the wall quietly. Bayley knocked back reassuringly.   
“Look, I didn’t mean to start the whole sexuality conversation,” Bayley began. “I know you’re touchy about it, and I know-“  
“Bayley, I think I like girls.”  
Bayley opened her mouth, and closed it again, somehow both stunned and completely unsurprised. She just hadn't expected Sasha to blurt it out.  
“I know, babe,” Bayley replied, pushing the door open slightly. Sasha eased her way over to sit a little nearer, peering round the door frame with an almost childish apprehension. Her dark eyes seemed searching, anxious, as though waiting for an attack, a reproach. “I'm your best friend, Sash. Of course I know.”  
“It's not gonna make anything... weird, is it?” Sasha prodded warily, inching out the door to sit beside Bayley properly.  
“Of course not! I like girls. Most of our friends like girls. Girls are pretty great,” Bayley assured her. “Nobody's gonna freak out.”  
“Yeah but... it just. Seems like it would be different for me,” Sasha explained, brows knitting as she gesticulated alongside her words, as though trying to snatch syllables from the air, orchestrating an unspoken grammar of her own with a conductor's hands. “I dunno... I don't want everybody to think I'm suddenly into them or something. I don't wanna gross anybody out.”  
“You're not gonna gross anybody out! I promise,” Bayley swore, placing her hand on her heart to illustrate her absolute sincerity. Sasha smiled, and she was radiant, her entire face seeming alight with a sourceless sun. “Besides, when I was dating Mella, she was desperate to get at you. You're gonna have to brace yourself when you come out to everybody, because she is gonna be all over you like a rash.”  
Sasha's semi-stunned, semi-appalled expression sent Bayley into peals of laughter.  
“I've never been hit on by a girl before,” Sasha said, almost inaudible. She visibly paled at the idea, uncertain,  
“Don't worry about it. Listen, I'm gonna level with you,” Bayley said, taking Sasha's hands in her. “All this shit in your head, all this fear, all this weird anxiety about freaking your female friends out. That's homophobic bullshit society has drilled into you. You're perfect, and everything is gonna be okay. You own this part of your life; don't let old echoes of people from the past try to take it from you. Jesus, your friendship group is almost entirely lesbians, I promise you we will look after you, and accept you, no matter what. We loved you before you came out, we'll love you after, just like we loved each other through it, each and every one of us.”  
Sasha couldn't summon the words to reply, tears silently streaming down her cheeks. Bayley simply embraced her, pulling her into her arms and cradling her against her chest.  
“God,” Sasha sobbed, half laughing. “I can finally update my OKCupid to say I'm a lesbian.”  
“Oh my god, you have an OKCupid?” Bayley began to laugh. “Babe... Did you have your dating profiles set to say you were straight?”  
“I was scared you guys would find it!” Sasha protested, wiping snot on her sleeve inelegantly as she sniffed, self-pity so thick in her expression that Bayley laughed harder.  
“No, no, I understand that part, just the mental image of you trying to secretly infiltrate the lesbians disguised as a straight girl? Too good,” Bayley ruffled Sasha's hair good naturedly, occasionally guffawing to herself.  
“I'm sorry I got so upset,” Sasha apologised, lacing her fingers through Bayley's. “It's stupid, but... I just got scared. There was just this... block in my mind. Like it was okay for all you guys to be gay or whatever, but not for me? I don't know. I don't get it.”  
“I understand,” Bayley nodded sagely. “I think most of us go through that kind of mindfuck. But that's why we're all here; to help you through it. Now, you wanna come back downstairs?”  
Sasha nodded, clearly grateful for the change in subject as she got to her feet and followed Bayley back downstairs, baulking slightly at the dark hallway as Bayley turned out the light behind them.


End file.
